24/7 Crisis Support
If you're in immediate distress or facing threats to your safety:
Understanding What You're Experiencing
First, let's validate your experience: If you feel targeted, diminished, or unsafe at work, your feelings are real and important. Sometimes we gaslight ourselves, wondering "am I too sensitive?" You're not. Trust your gut.
Below are common patterns of workplace bullying. This isn't about building a legal case - it's about helping you see clearly what's happening, so you can make informed choices about your wellbeing.
If you checked 2+ items that happen repeatedly: Your experience matters. You're not imagining it, and you're not "too sensitive." What happens next is your choice - and there's no wrong choice. Your wellbeing comes first.
Grey Rock Communication Technique
What is Grey Rock? A gentle self-protection technique where you become as calm and uninteresting as a grey rock. This isn't about "fighting back" - it's about conserving your energy and protecting your peace.
Why it works: When bullies don't get emotional reactions, they often lose interest. You're not feeding the drama. You're choosing your battles - and sometimes the wisest battle is internal: protecting your mental health.
Evidence-based method from trauma psychology. You're not being weak - you're being wise.
DO
- โขBe brief: One or two sentences maximum
- โขBe factual: "I understand. I'll provide this by [time]."
- โขBe boring: Give minimum information needed
- โขDocument everything: CC yourself on emails
- โขRequest written confirmation: "Could you please confirm this in writing?"
DON'T
- โขJADE: Justify, Argue, Defend, Explain excessively
- โขApologize excessively: "I'm so sorry but I've been really busy..."
- โขShow emotion: Frustration, anger, or fear can be weaponized
- โขShare personal struggles: Don't give them ammunition
- โขReact immediately: Take time to think before responding
Response Examples
"I'm sorry but I've been really busy with the X project you assigned me, and I didn't realize you wanted this by 5pm today because I thought we agreed on tomorrow. I'll try my best to finish it but I'm not sure I can get it all done because..."
"I understand. I'll provide this by [realistic time that respects your workload]."
"This is really unfair and unreasonable. I've been working hard and you keep changing the requirements!"
"To ensure accuracy, could you please confirm the current requirements in writing? I want to make sure I deliver what you need."
Taking Care of Yourself
Your healing matters more than any job. Whether you choose to stay, leave, or take formal action, the most important thing is protecting your mental and physical health.
Here are some gentle practices to help you through this difficult time:
Daily Emotional First Aid
- โขBreathing exercises: 5 minutes of box breathing before/after work
- โขGrounding: Use 5-4-3-2-1 method when feeling triggered
- โขJournal your feelings: Not for evidence, but for processing emotions
- โขTalk to someone safe: Friend, therapist, helpline - you need witnesses to your pain
Rebuilding Your Sense of Self
- โขYou are not your job: Your worth exists outside of workplace validation
- โขKeep a "wins" journal: Record small victories (you showed up, you survived the day)
- โขConnect with people who see you: Not the workplace version, but the real you
- โขRemember your skills: List 5 things you're good at (outside of this toxic environment)
Physical Self-Care
- โขSleep: Prioritize rest, even if it means using sick leave
- โขMovement: Gentle walks, yoga - release the stress stored in your body
- โขNutrition: Eat nourishing food, stay hydrated - stress depletes your body
- โขMedical support: See your GP for a Mental Health Care Plan (6 free therapy sessions)
Optional: Keep a Personal Record
Some people find it helpful to keep notes about what's happening - not for legal action, but for clarity. When you're being gaslit, having a written record helps you trust your own reality.
Store in your personal email/cloud (not company devices). This is for YOU, not for building a case. If you later decide you need professional help (lawyer, WorkCover), you'll have it. But that's your future choice to make.
Support Resources (When You're Ready)
These resources are here if you choose to use them. There's no pressure to take formal action. Some people find healing through advocacy, others through leaving quietly, and others through therapy and time. All paths are valid. Your wellbeing comes first.
Mental Health Support
Start here: Your mental health is the priority. See your GP for a Mental Health Care Plan (6-10 free therapy sessions per year). A psychologist who specializes in workplace trauma can help you process what's happening and build coping strategies.
Crisis support: Lifeline 13 11 14 | Beyond Blue 1300 22 4636
Find a psychologist: Australian Psychological Society โ
WorkCover (Psychological Injury)
If you're experiencing mental health impacts (anxiety, depression, PTSD), you may be entitled to WorkCover compensation. This can cover medical treatment, therapy, and time off work.
Note: This process can be re-traumatizing. Make sure you have support (therapist, friend) before starting. You don't have to do this alone.
Fair Work Commission
Some people choose to apply for a "stop bullying" order or lodge an unfair dismissal claim (if terminated). This is a formal legal process. It can provide validation, but it's also stressful and slow.
Reality check: The system isn't always kind to victims. Weigh whether this path serves your healing or re-traumatizes you. Talk to a lawyer or therapist first.
Fair Work Bullying Information โEmployment Lawyers (Optional)
Many employment lawyers offer free initial consultations. They can help you understand your rights and options - without committing to legal action. Knowledge is power.
Search: "Employment lawyer [your city]" or "Workplace bullying lawyer Australia"
Permission to Leave
Sometimes the bravest thing is walking away. You don't owe your workplace your mental health. You don't have to "win" against the bully. You don't have to prove anything. Your life, your peace, your choice.
If leaving feels like giving up: It's not. It's choosing yourself. That's strength.
Emergency Tools
You Are Not Alone
This is not your fault. Bullying says everything about the bully and nothing about your worth. You didn't cause this. You can't fix them. You can only choose yourself.
You are not "too sensitive." Gaslighting makes you doubt your reality. Trust your experience. If it hurts, it's real. Your feelings are valid evidence.
You don't have to be strong all the time. It's okay to cry, to be angry, to feel broken. Healing isn't linear. Some days you'll feel powerful, other days you'll barely survive. Both are okay.
You don't have to stay. Your health matters more than any job. Leaving isn't giving upโ it's choosing life over loyalty to a place that doesn't deserve you.
You will heal. It takes time. The trauma won't vanish overnight. But slowly, you'll breathe easier. You'll laugh again. You'll remember who you were before this happened. And you'll be even stronger.
"Trauma doesn't define you. Your healing does. And you're already on that path." - Sisi ๐ฆ